It doesn’t even sound right when I say it out loud. Am I really forty-two? I certainly don’t feel it. My wife says I don’t look it. Looking at the calendar, though, it must be true. So what’s happened in another year? What have I learned? This is what I task myself with every year. Each year it creeps up faster and faster, and each year there seems to be less time to sit and introspect like that. Which is probably a great place to start.
The Mooneyhans are a family of five now. Our youngest shares a birthday with his Great-Grandfather and also with one of his cousins. Our next youngest is testing his acrobatics by climbing bookshelves and turning flips off of the couch. He isn’t even two. Our oldest just started kindergarten, and boy is she coming out of her shell.
It’s true what they say: the days go slow but the years go fast. You start to pay more attention to that when the kid who could just walk when you met her is now learning how to read, when the little boy who was crawling yesterday is a daredevil today, when the little newborn you were holding a minute ago is already outgrowing his bassinet.
I’m constantly amazed at how lucky and blessed I am to have married Stacey. She is, in every way, my perfect match. You always hope and pray you find someone who beautiful and smart and funny, who brings out the best in you while also challenging you to be better, who cheers you on when you don’t think you have anything left, who celebrates your victories, who knows how to help you up from your defeats. You hope and pray for that.
What I’m saying is, I’m the luckiest man.
In addition to being a year that expanded our family, we also had a six month stint serving a church through a transitional period in the life of their congregation. I got to preach every week, and it felt good to stand up and proclaim the Good News each week. Preaching is something I treasure; I don’t get to it as much as I once thought I might, but I continue to wait on the Lord to serve as He calls. Whatever it looks like, I am content.
What have I learned? Am I someone who even has any wisdom to share? I’m not so sure. Whether this is wisdom or not, I’ll leave up to you. But I know a few things for sure:
Of the many aspects of a healthy relationship, one of the most important is simply spending time together doing something other than watching TV or staring at your phone. Some of my favorite nights during a given week are nights where we end up just talking about our day in the kitchen, evenings where we play a game or do something creative, or days when we work in the yard together. We miss a lot of pop culture references, but we don’t care. Which brings me to my next point.
Life is not better alone, and we are not made for that. Stacey knows what I am feeling simply by looking at my eyes. I can tell how she is feeling by the way she breathes. There is something indescribable about knowing someone so well, and all the more allowing yourself to be known by someone else. Everyday, no matter what else the day brings, I know there is someone in my corner. Having lived a good bit of my adult life alone, I can say without any doubt that being a part of someone else is infinitely better. It took us a while to find each other, but I am thankful everyday that we did.
There is also no substitute for the love and support of family, whether it is the family you are born with or the family you choose. If you’re lucky, you have both. Either way, having people to count on in a time of need is irreplaceable. In the past year or so, we’ve had to rely on the help of family and friends for everything between minor inconveniences to full-blown emergencies. And we’ve been counted on in the same way by people we love. What I am saying is, build a tribe, and devote yourselves to one another. If you want the world to be better, that’s the best way to do it.
I’ve learned that the ability to stay up long hours when you’re younger and single does not translate into the ability to stay up long hours when you’re a Dad. I now fully understand why my Dad used to fall asleep every time he sat down. (Not that he does that anymore, or anything like that.)
A ton of things my parents said and did when I was growing up makes a lot more sense to me now. I figured that might happen, but I’m amazed how often it does. To that point, I owe my parents a lot more Thank You’s and a lot more Apologies. You owe the same to yours, I bet.
And finally, I know this: Christ is risen, and Chris is King. No matter what is going on in the world, no matter how anxious or angry or hopeless or cynical it makes you—your heart does not have to be burdened by the world’s troubles. Take heart, for Christ has overcome the world. And He is making all things new. If that’s something that you’ve ever believed, then cling to it. If it’s something you struggle to believe, then lean into it. If it’s something you find absurd, then I’d love to hear you out.
I’ll wrap this up by sharing what has become my nightly prayer as I rock my kids to sleep:
“Almighty God, thank You for today.
Thank You for my family, thank You that I get to love them and that I get to be loved by them.
Help me to be a good provider, protector, and leader to my family.
Help me to be a loving husband and supportive partner to Stacey.
Held me to be a good Dad to my kids.
Grant me patience and faith, hope and love, strength and gentleness, courage and wisdom,
And may You be known by us, in us, and through us,
In Jesus’ name.
Amen.”
Onto another year. Y’all take care and be good to one another.
Jem.
*
Comments